Cactus Diary
Oct. 14th, 2009 04:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
twinpearlsIn the game, the hero(ine) (here a heroine and named Lanai) has a cactus to which she talks about her adventures. So for shits and giggles, here are the Jumi events summarized, complete with their journal entries.
And by "summarized", I mean "described in rather too much detail."
THE CACTUS DIARIES
The Lost Princess
The very first Jumi quest has Elazul seeking Lanai's help. Apparently Pearl has wandered off and he can't seem to find her. The search takes them to the Mekiv Caverns. They fight a boss, Pearl shows up and thanks Lanai, and Elazul kind of acts like a dick.
(Pearl is referred to as a princess here, but it's never explained what that entails. Jumi don't have princesses, so it doesn't make a lick of sense. For some reason, Shiro Amano decided to flanderize this and make Pearl...a princess. Like, completely. I don't even know; it's ridiculous you guys.)
Fighting a monkey in the caverns and saving a girl! Wow, that sounds like something out of a movie. But the girl was really shy and turned red, and I guess that was too much for my master.
The Flame of Hope
This one doesn't actually involve Elazul or Pearl, but it does kick off the Jewel Thief plotline.
So Lanai travels to the Gato Grottoes. Despite the name, only one catgirl actually lives there; the rest of the place is infested with nuns. Reubens is the temple's keeper and a well-liked but somewhat standoffish figure in the society. Our story begins with a Sproutling complaining of tummy issues and yet (annoyingly) refusing to be helped.
Inspector Boyd is lurking around because he received a note from a burgler: 'Today I will steal the Flame of Hope!' He assumes it means the temple's sacred torches, but anyone smart would realize it's stupid to steal torches. Unfortunately the inspector is not all that smart.
The event leads everyone to believe that the Jewel Thief Sandra is disguised as the complaining Sproutling, but she turns out to have been a nun. She talks to Reubens and asks him if he wants the Popo bug in the Sproutling's stomach (which can cure most anything) in order to save his love in Geo. Reubens refuses, saying he won't cause anyone else pain just for his own selfish desires. The nun decides this is the wrong answer, and takes Reubens' core. Nobody in the Grottoes knew Reubens was a Jumi, which ultimately resulted in his death, because Inspector Boyd mentions if he'd only known that crucial bit of information, he wouldn't have assumed the note meant the fricken torches.
Popo bug is reeaaally long, with lots of knobs, and it's easy to break one Popo bug to make two Popo bugs. Who gets hurt when a Popo bug is in someone's tummy? The Popo bug?
The Lucky Clover
The most heartbreaking quest in the game.
Lanai trots off to Geo with Elazul, leaving Pearl back at Lanai's house. They're in Geo for five minutes when--a wild Jumi appears! She's Esmeralda, under the tutelage of Nunuzac, conjurer extraordinaire and beater of self-esteem. He refers to Esmeralda as "dirt" the entire quest (although there is a reason). It turns out Esmeralda is at the university studying to be a knight. An admirable aspiration if there were any guardians around. But because there aren't, Esmeralda resigns herself to being a guardian. Nunuzac recommends she get her own knight, and suggests Lanai. (Elazul can't do it because that's two-timing. :D) Lanai accepts.
Esmeralda has three sisters from whom she was separated when the Bejeweled City was abandoned. She thinks all their cores are somewhere in Geo, and it's up to her to find them. Then, she says, she can cry and bring them back to life. She finds one in the principal's office and one in a café. The last one is in Kristie's Warehouse, and while down there, Esmeralda and Lanai find a very curious statue. It's Diana, Diamond Jumi and their leader. She encourages Esmeralda to forget about the Jumi that are lost, and hide for the rest of her life, because the Jumi are doomed anyway. She also warns Esmeralda to get out fast, because she told the Jewel Thief to take her core. So Esmeralda takes her sister's core and books it.
With the "Lucky Clover" reunited, Esmeralda is quite excited...until a note drops from the sky. 'The Lucky Clover will be mine.' Lanai sends Esmeralda to the academy, where she should be safe. Which she is so not, because seconds later, Inspector Boyd shows up declaring Esmeralda to be kidnapped. Elazul shows up too, and bitches Lanai out for being a careless knight. Both of them rush back to the Warehouse, where they find Sandra and Esmeralda. Esmeralda laments that she can't cry, and therefore can't bring her sisters back to life. The thief rips out her core and leaves. You feel like your heart's been ripped out too.
Another friend in my master's life. She was a pile of dirt? Did I get that right? I didn't know what to say to that, so I couldn't look straight into my master's eyes. Sorry.
The Looking-Glass Tower
An artifact nets Lanai the Tower of Leires, this massively awesome purple cloud-encircled Boink-guarded...thing. And after a certain point, the Boink goes away and Pearl shows up. She tells Lanai she needs to go to the top to find answers, and not to tell Elazul. So Lanai takes her up, becoming increasingly frustrated over Pearl's complete and utter lack of fighting skills, and then Pearl steps into the Room of Fate, where a boss battle takes place. It's quite weird.
A girl went up a tower to see her past, or something like that. I'm losing track of what's going on, and getting a little bit tired of keeping my diary lately.
Cosmo
Diana mentioned at the end of "Lucky Clover" that she would explain Sandra's motives against the Jumi to Elazul and Pearl. Elazul is all set to go. Pearl is not. In fact, she's completely gone. Again. Elazul finds a note from Sandra that explains she kidnapped Pearl, so Elazul and Lanai rush to her rescue. It's back to the Mekiv Caverns. (The location is actually different in each game.) As soon as they get there, they encounter a smoking duck. No, really. And this exchange occurs.
Duck: Don't threaten me! You're talking about an innocent-looking little girl, right? She was with some lady!
Elazul: A lady with orange flowers?
Duck: Yeah, her! She was wearing a green skirt, and her legs were just fantastic!
I don't even know, you guys. Anyway, at the penultimate screen, they meet...a fish...guy. I can't find art of him becausethere isn't any. EVERY CHARACTER GETS ART EXCEPT THIS GUY, AND HE--never mind I haven't been looking hard enough. Anyway. They rush off to the next screen to find Sandra and Pearl arguing. Sandra wants Pearl to remember her "true purpose", and Pearl has no goddamn clue what she's talking about. When Elazul intervenes, Sandra scratches his core and taunts Pearl about her inability to help him. Pearl turns into Blackpearl, which gets Sandra to shut the fuck up pretty quick. She leaves, and the fish guy comes back to help Lanai and Blackpearl get the injured Elazul back to Lanai's house. Blackpearl tells Elazul that Pearl is gone, and he's free. He totally doesn't buy it.
Pearl disappeared again, so Elazul went and looked for her again. Sandra and Lord Jewels and lots of people were in today's story. It made me sleepy.
Two Pearls
You know, I think this entry sums it up better than I ever could. By the way, this one takes place in Leires again.
Pearl disappeared, and Elazul found her. But Blackpearl was there too and wouldn't give Pearl back to Elazul. We need more love in this world.
Alexandrite
Pearl is back with Elazul, but he hands her off to Lanai while he goes somewhere. Lanai and Pearl go to Geo to see Diana, but she's been crystallized. She has closed off her heart and needs to be reawakened. Pearl gathers the necessary items to do it and frees Diana just as Elazul arrives. Diana sits them down and explains Sandra's motives for killing Jumi.
Florina was the only Jumi who could cry, and so she cried her life out while the Jumi were getting slaughtered. Her knight couldn't stand the slaughter anymore and left the city to find the Sword of Mana, which would lead her to the Mana Stone, which would preserve the race. This knight left Florina with Alexandra, who took it upon herself to smuggle Florina from the city. Alexandra didn't believe in the Clarius rule, the philosophy that caused Florina to cry herself to death, and hated people like Diana for upholding it.
No sooner has Diana explained this than Sandra drops down and takes Diana's core. Diana's last words are a warning to Elazul and Pearl, that they must find Blackpearl, the only person who can stop Sandra.
Hey, what does a Jumi way when he sees his people after a long time? "Jumis me" Get it? "Ju-miss me?" Wait, what's the matter? You can't take the "pun"ishment?
Fluorite
There's a jewel shop in Geo run by a nice young lad named Alex. When Lanai walks into the shop, she hears a voice asking for help. Then she's sucked into Pandora's Box, inside of which is Florina, the Jumi of Fluorite and Clarius of the race. Apparently Alex keeps her inside the box to protect her from the jewel hunter. (If you have any brains, you'll have realized by this point that Alex, Sandra, and Alexandra are all the same person.) Florina is having bad dreams and needs someone to help, so Lanai goes inside. Florina's dream is a hella weird place, but let's not talk about that right now. Let's talk about the Jumi cutscenes within this dream.
Blackpearl talks to Elazul, berating him for not having a guardian. He lost his previous guardian some time ago and beats himself up for it daily.
In the next scene, Elazul begs Blackpearl to relinquish Pearl and let him guard her again. Blackpearl refuses; she says she is a knight with the destiny of fluorite. Elazul reminds her that Florina already has a knight, and Blackpearl has no reason to keep this up.
Next scene brings a change of pace. Blackpearl confronts Alexandra and tries to make her give Florina back. Alexandra is having none of it. Blackpearl collapses and gives way to Pearl while Alexandra flees. Elazul finds Pearl and takes her from the dreamscape.
Lanai comes out of the dream to find Florina fast asleep.
Today it was about going to a desert and seeing desert people, or something like that. It was a bit difficult for me to understand. Desert troopers? Hurricane fighters?
Teardrop Crystal
Wait, I lied. This is what gets my tear ducts flowing.
Inspector Boyd asks Lanai to investigate a certain jewellery shop in Geo. When she gets there, she finds the shop completely trashed. Alex is nowhere to be found. Elazul and Pearl rush in, filling in the gaps: the shop hasn't been owned in years, even though Lanai just came in here during "Fluorite", and no one has heard of Alex even though Elazul, Pearl, and Lanai have all talked to him before. Something is very fishy. Suddenly everyone gets sucked into Pandora's Box to pay Florina a visit. Florina turns Pearl into Blackpearl and Elazul asks her what the hell is up with the always-changing-people business.
Blackpearl slips into a flashback, where she is confronting Alexandra about Florina. Alexandra won't return her to the city, and when Blackpearl insists, Alexandra strikes her core with a knife. Blackpearl collapses, Alexandra flees, and Elazul rushes into the scene. Blackpearl changes to Pearl.
After the flashback, Florina gives them the Jumi's Staff, which will let them into the Bejeweled City. Lanai takes Pearl with her to the city, and Pearl mentions it used to be called "Etansel".
They fight their way to the Jade Palace, where they find Alexandra and the fish guy. The fish guy is the Lord of Jewels, and throughout the entire game he has been eating the cores that Sandra steals for him. They will fuse together and create a Teardrop Crystal, which should restore the city. He has thus far swallowed 998 cores. 999 is...lapis lazuli. Lanai and Blackpearl fight the Lord, who, when defeated, asks for more strength. Alexandra gives him her core and disappears. This time, when the Lord of Jewels is defeated, he disappears as well.
Blackpearl wonders aloud if the Jumi really are destined to die out, and Lanai starts to cry. The legend says those who cry for Jumi turn to stone, and apparently this is completely true, because Lanai is suddenly a statue. At once all the dead Jumi appear, and try to create a teardrop crystal for Lanai.
The scene cuts back to Lanai's home, where Bud and Lisa are.
Lisa: There's a terrible storm outside...It's like the sky's falling down!
Bud: They say when a Jumi cries, the sky cries with it. Did you know that?
Lisa: I wonder if the pearl girl is crying...
Bud: .....
Lisa: Or maybe it's the lapis lazuli guy...
Bud: .....
A long pause.
Lisa: Lanai is late...
Bud: Yeah...
All of a sudden the most tearjerking music starts, and Elazul and Pearl rush into the house, followed by Lanai, who utters the only words that the player character ever utters in the entire game:
"I'm ba-ack!"
Then the cactus entry fricken ruins everything.
I guess there is a place called the Bejeweled City in this world, but that name sounds fakey. I think my master was making up this story.
Fuck you too, Li'l Cactus.
And by "summarized", I mean "described in rather too much detail."
THE CACTUS DIARIES
The Lost Princess
The very first Jumi quest has Elazul seeking Lanai's help. Apparently Pearl has wandered off and he can't seem to find her. The search takes them to the Mekiv Caverns. They fight a boss, Pearl shows up and thanks Lanai, and Elazul kind of acts like a dick.
(Pearl is referred to as a princess here, but it's never explained what that entails. Jumi don't have princesses, so it doesn't make a lick of sense. For some reason, Shiro Amano decided to flanderize this and make Pearl...a princess. Like, completely. I don't even know; it's ridiculous you guys.)
Fighting a monkey in the caverns and saving a girl! Wow, that sounds like something out of a movie. But the girl was really shy and turned red, and I guess that was too much for my master.
The Flame of Hope
This one doesn't actually involve Elazul or Pearl, but it does kick off the Jewel Thief plotline.
So Lanai travels to the Gato Grottoes. Despite the name, only one catgirl actually lives there; the rest of the place is infested with nuns. Reubens is the temple's keeper and a well-liked but somewhat standoffish figure in the society. Our story begins with a Sproutling complaining of tummy issues and yet (annoyingly) refusing to be helped.
Inspector Boyd is lurking around because he received a note from a burgler: 'Today I will steal the Flame of Hope!' He assumes it means the temple's sacred torches, but anyone smart would realize it's stupid to steal torches. Unfortunately the inspector is not all that smart.
The event leads everyone to believe that the Jewel Thief Sandra is disguised as the complaining Sproutling, but she turns out to have been a nun. She talks to Reubens and asks him if he wants the Popo bug in the Sproutling's stomach (which can cure most anything) in order to save his love in Geo. Reubens refuses, saying he won't cause anyone else pain just for his own selfish desires. The nun decides this is the wrong answer, and takes Reubens' core. Nobody in the Grottoes knew Reubens was a Jumi, which ultimately resulted in his death, because Inspector Boyd mentions if he'd only known that crucial bit of information, he wouldn't have assumed the note meant the fricken torches.
Popo bug is reeaaally long, with lots of knobs, and it's easy to break one Popo bug to make two Popo bugs. Who gets hurt when a Popo bug is in someone's tummy? The Popo bug?
The Lucky Clover
The most heartbreaking quest in the game.
Lanai trots off to Geo with Elazul, leaving Pearl back at Lanai's house. They're in Geo for five minutes when--a wild Jumi appears! She's Esmeralda, under the tutelage of Nunuzac, conjurer extraordinaire and beater of self-esteem. He refers to Esmeralda as "dirt" the entire quest (although there is a reason). It turns out Esmeralda is at the university studying to be a knight. An admirable aspiration if there were any guardians around. But because there aren't, Esmeralda resigns herself to being a guardian. Nunuzac recommends she get her own knight, and suggests Lanai. (Elazul can't do it because that's two-timing. :D) Lanai accepts.
Esmeralda has three sisters from whom she was separated when the Bejeweled City was abandoned. She thinks all their cores are somewhere in Geo, and it's up to her to find them. Then, she says, she can cry and bring them back to life. She finds one in the principal's office and one in a café. The last one is in Kristie's Warehouse, and while down there, Esmeralda and Lanai find a very curious statue. It's Diana, Diamond Jumi and their leader. She encourages Esmeralda to forget about the Jumi that are lost, and hide for the rest of her life, because the Jumi are doomed anyway. She also warns Esmeralda to get out fast, because she told the Jewel Thief to take her core. So Esmeralda takes her sister's core and books it.
With the "Lucky Clover" reunited, Esmeralda is quite excited...until a note drops from the sky. 'The Lucky Clover will be mine.' Lanai sends Esmeralda to the academy, where she should be safe. Which she is so not, because seconds later, Inspector Boyd shows up declaring Esmeralda to be kidnapped. Elazul shows up too, and bitches Lanai out for being a careless knight. Both of them rush back to the Warehouse, where they find Sandra and Esmeralda. Esmeralda laments that she can't cry, and therefore can't bring her sisters back to life. The thief rips out her core and leaves. You feel like your heart's been ripped out too.
Another friend in my master's life. She was a pile of dirt? Did I get that right? I didn't know what to say to that, so I couldn't look straight into my master's eyes. Sorry.
The Looking-Glass Tower
An artifact nets Lanai the Tower of Leires, this massively awesome purple cloud-encircled Boink-guarded...thing. And after a certain point, the Boink goes away and Pearl shows up. She tells Lanai she needs to go to the top to find answers, and not to tell Elazul. So Lanai takes her up, becoming increasingly frustrated over Pearl's complete and utter lack of fighting skills, and then Pearl steps into the Room of Fate, where a boss battle takes place. It's quite weird.
A girl went up a tower to see her past, or something like that. I'm losing track of what's going on, and getting a little bit tired of keeping my diary lately.
Cosmo
Diana mentioned at the end of "Lucky Clover" that she would explain Sandra's motives against the Jumi to Elazul and Pearl. Elazul is all set to go. Pearl is not. In fact, she's completely gone. Again. Elazul finds a note from Sandra that explains she kidnapped Pearl, so Elazul and Lanai rush to her rescue. It's back to the Mekiv Caverns. (The location is actually different in each game.) As soon as they get there, they encounter a smoking duck. No, really. And this exchange occurs.
Duck: Don't threaten me! You're talking about an innocent-looking little girl, right? She was with some lady!
Elazul: A lady with orange flowers?
Duck: Yeah, her! She was wearing a green skirt, and her legs were just fantastic!
I don't even know, you guys. Anyway, at the penultimate screen, they meet...a fish...guy. I can't find art of him because
Pearl disappeared again, so Elazul went and looked for her again. Sandra and Lord Jewels and lots of people were in today's story. It made me sleepy.
Two Pearls
You know, I think this entry sums it up better than I ever could. By the way, this one takes place in Leires again.
Pearl disappeared, and Elazul found her. But Blackpearl was there too and wouldn't give Pearl back to Elazul. We need more love in this world.
Alexandrite
Pearl is back with Elazul, but he hands her off to Lanai while he goes somewhere. Lanai and Pearl go to Geo to see Diana, but she's been crystallized. She has closed off her heart and needs to be reawakened. Pearl gathers the necessary items to do it and frees Diana just as Elazul arrives. Diana sits them down and explains Sandra's motives for killing Jumi.
Florina was the only Jumi who could cry, and so she cried her life out while the Jumi were getting slaughtered. Her knight couldn't stand the slaughter anymore and left the city to find the Sword of Mana, which would lead her to the Mana Stone, which would preserve the race. This knight left Florina with Alexandra, who took it upon herself to smuggle Florina from the city. Alexandra didn't believe in the Clarius rule, the philosophy that caused Florina to cry herself to death, and hated people like Diana for upholding it.
No sooner has Diana explained this than Sandra drops down and takes Diana's core. Diana's last words are a warning to Elazul and Pearl, that they must find Blackpearl, the only person who can stop Sandra.
Hey, what does a Jumi way when he sees his people after a long time? "Jumis me" Get it? "Ju-miss me?" Wait, what's the matter? You can't take the "pun"ishment?
Fluorite
There's a jewel shop in Geo run by a nice young lad named Alex. When Lanai walks into the shop, she hears a voice asking for help. Then she's sucked into Pandora's Box, inside of which is Florina, the Jumi of Fluorite and Clarius of the race. Apparently Alex keeps her inside the box to protect her from the jewel hunter. (If you have any brains, you'll have realized by this point that Alex, Sandra, and Alexandra are all the same person.) Florina is having bad dreams and needs someone to help, so Lanai goes inside. Florina's dream is a hella weird place, but let's not talk about that right now. Let's talk about the Jumi cutscenes within this dream.
Blackpearl talks to Elazul, berating him for not having a guardian. He lost his previous guardian some time ago and beats himself up for it daily.
In the next scene, Elazul begs Blackpearl to relinquish Pearl and let him guard her again. Blackpearl refuses; she says she is a knight with the destiny of fluorite. Elazul reminds her that Florina already has a knight, and Blackpearl has no reason to keep this up.
Next scene brings a change of pace. Blackpearl confronts Alexandra and tries to make her give Florina back. Alexandra is having none of it. Blackpearl collapses and gives way to Pearl while Alexandra flees. Elazul finds Pearl and takes her from the dreamscape.
Lanai comes out of the dream to find Florina fast asleep.
Today it was about going to a desert and seeing desert people, or something like that. It was a bit difficult for me to understand. Desert troopers? Hurricane fighters?
Teardrop Crystal
Wait, I lied. This is what gets my tear ducts flowing.
Inspector Boyd asks Lanai to investigate a certain jewellery shop in Geo. When she gets there, she finds the shop completely trashed. Alex is nowhere to be found. Elazul and Pearl rush in, filling in the gaps: the shop hasn't been owned in years, even though Lanai just came in here during "Fluorite", and no one has heard of Alex even though Elazul, Pearl, and Lanai have all talked to him before. Something is very fishy. Suddenly everyone gets sucked into Pandora's Box to pay Florina a visit. Florina turns Pearl into Blackpearl and Elazul asks her what the hell is up with the always-changing-people business.
Blackpearl slips into a flashback, where she is confronting Alexandra about Florina. Alexandra won't return her to the city, and when Blackpearl insists, Alexandra strikes her core with a knife. Blackpearl collapses, Alexandra flees, and Elazul rushes into the scene. Blackpearl changes to Pearl.
After the flashback, Florina gives them the Jumi's Staff, which will let them into the Bejeweled City. Lanai takes Pearl with her to the city, and Pearl mentions it used to be called "Etansel".
They fight their way to the Jade Palace, where they find Alexandra and the fish guy. The fish guy is the Lord of Jewels, and throughout the entire game he has been eating the cores that Sandra steals for him. They will fuse together and create a Teardrop Crystal, which should restore the city. He has thus far swallowed 998 cores. 999 is...lapis lazuli. Lanai and Blackpearl fight the Lord, who, when defeated, asks for more strength. Alexandra gives him her core and disappears. This time, when the Lord of Jewels is defeated, he disappears as well.
Blackpearl wonders aloud if the Jumi really are destined to die out, and Lanai starts to cry. The legend says those who cry for Jumi turn to stone, and apparently this is completely true, because Lanai is suddenly a statue. At once all the dead Jumi appear, and try to create a teardrop crystal for Lanai.
The scene cuts back to Lanai's home, where Bud and Lisa are.
Lisa: There's a terrible storm outside...It's like the sky's falling down!
Bud: They say when a Jumi cries, the sky cries with it. Did you know that?
Lisa: I wonder if the pearl girl is crying...
Bud: .....
Lisa: Or maybe it's the lapis lazuli guy...
Bud: .....
A long pause.
Lisa: Lanai is late...
Bud: Yeah...
All of a sudden the most tearjerking music starts, and Elazul and Pearl rush into the house, followed by Lanai, who utters the only words that the player character ever utters in the entire game:
"I'm ba-ack!"
Then the cactus entry fricken ruins everything.
I guess there is a place called the Bejeweled City in this world, but that name sounds fakey. I think my master was making up this story.
Fuck you too, Li'l Cactus.
